Saturday, November 12, 2022 8:24 AM
America survived a fraught week. Some say it was too much left, some too much right, some say we voted for normal. Now we will have a few weeks away from the endless campaigning before we repeat this cycle for the 117th time.
I am reading a remarkable book—a gift from a friend—Jon Meacham’s latest, “And There Was Light.” It tells of how Abraham Lincoln charted a path through an even more divisive time in American history to save the union and make it stronger. I am struck by the many parallels of that time and this and at times I feel like I am reading the news instead of a history book. Lincoln’s constant exhortation to union, his unwillingness to denigrate the other side, his constant effort to raise our eyes to a higher goal, saved us.
I was also given access to a pre-release screening of the documentary The Abortion Talks by Sarah Perkins and Josh Sabey. After two employees were shot and killed in an abortion clinic in Brookline, Massachusetts in 1994, six of the most prominent women in the pro-life and pro-choice movements secretly began meeting (and did so for years) to find common ground to see that this never happened again. They were in constant opposition in the media while secretly engaged in dialogue with each other to find understanding and common ground.
Why all of this in a leadership blog? Because I think it points to two things noticeably lacking in our world and our leadership today: grace and wonder. It is far too easy to vilify the other side, to dismiss another’s point of view, to speak and act with certainty but without the moments of investigation, empathy and self-searching that should proceed such certainty. There is much we disagree with in our world today. But as leaders, it is incumbent upon us to model the way for others to follow.
The verb form of wonder is almost synonymous with curiosity—a vital trait to great leadership. And the noun form means “a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.” Imagine applying that to an idea we initially disagree with.
Grace, in my mind, is simply unmerited favor. It is extending courtesy, civility and decency in all situations. People who bestow grace are graceful. Think about that for a moment.
Now imagine, in the heat of the moment, instead of “fighting fire with fire” or with “an equal and opposite reaction” we extended grace and wonder. Imagine if, in lieu of the shouting matches we seem to witness each day we heard penetrating questions in an open dialogue? Do we really believe the other party hates America? Do we really believe they want to destroy our country? What if we extended grace and wonder instead? Do we really believe our frenemy at work is really only in it for themselves? Do we really think they only proposed their solution for nefarious reasons? Do we really think they did not accept our ideas because they are too dumb to see? What if we extended grace and wonder instead?
If I could give my country and its leaders something, it certainly wouldn’t be a piece of my mind (I can’t afford to give any up), my wisdom (it is not sufficient for this), or advice (the challenges we face in our world are bigger than one person’s experience and ken). No, If I could give my country and its leaders something, it would be grace and wonder. It would be the gift of having others see them as graceful and full of curiosity.
We must be the change we seek.
Have a great week.
Mark
Comments